I will, however, sometimes write about my experiences as a mother in order to show the contrast between where I came from and what's happening here. I can condense these first 18 months into a bullet list for you:
- 4 nights in hospital after a natural birth with non drugs, (4 nights! And this is standard for a private hospital. The public system would have given me two nights but I wouldn't have paid a cent for those 2 nights)
- Midwife care in the hospital 24 hours a day. Daily visits from the ob gyn.
- A home visit from the maternal child health nurse, (the MCH) during my first week at home
- fortnightly appointments until Nora was 8 weeks, then monthly until 6 months, next was at a year and all vaccinations were given by the MCH free (we had to go to our GP for one set because of our travel schedule but we only paid for the visit, vaccinations were billed to medicare). Her next visit is next week at 18 months and that will be her last set of vaccinations until she's 4.
- The Australian government pays you once all of the vaccinations are complete (!)
- The Australian Government gives a $5000 baby bonus paid fortnightly until it runs out
- I missed this one, but the government just instituted paid maternity leave for working mothers
- The government pays you money if you don't meet a certain income threshold, making it easier for a single income family to have one parent staying at home. It's not a lot, but it helps.
- There is a lot of support for breast feeding moms and The Australian Breastfeeding Association has monthly get togethers and a free help line, both of which I made use of. It's also another great place to connect with other moms. I could write tons more about this but I promised myself that this would be bullet points, not a mommy blog.
- At 3 months, The MCH organized a formal mother's group for the moms in her care who had babies roughly Nora's age. There were about 9 of us in the beginning. The MCH ran the group for 6 weeks and then we were on our own. 15 months later and dozens of house visits, cafe sits, birthday parties and the like, 7 of us are meeting up in the park tomorrow so we can catch up with one of the girls who had to go back to work. One of us has already had baby #2. This group has been amazing.
- at the first signs of post natal depression, I was referred to a special group run by the council for moms having difficulties. Medicare paid for doctor's visits and follow ups.
- Day care in the inner west is scarce, but we were able to get Nora into the Bulldogs Center for one day a week: $70/ day includes meals and care from 7:30am - 6:30pm (but most days she is only there 8 hours). This center is subsidized by the Western Bulldogs football team. The staff is amazing and Nora loves it.
- The inner west is full of mom friendly businesses and cafes. It's also full of creative people who happen to be moms. I started coordinating the children's activities at a local cafe where I was a patron and the ladies there have become some of my closest friends. Having this small job to go to for a few hours a week, being able to bring Nora with me, I think it saved my life at one point.
Universal health care has been great and all of the services available to new moms and to primary school aged children are amazing. I'm not sure what it would have been like to be back in the US. Some things worse, some better, I'm sure. I try not to compare, but I do think in some cases if women in the US knew what was available here they would riot in the streets.
Having a baby is tough enough under the best circumstances. It's been hard being here and having all of my family and friends 10,000 miles away. Skype and e-mail is good, but it's just not the same. I wish I could have enjoyed Nora's first months as much as I enjoy her now. It's been amazing to have this time with her. I'm still figuring out how to get back to real work, but thanks to my husband, we're not in a rush and I still have some time to figure things out.
And through it all, one of the main things I realized was this: I do have family here. I have my daughter. She's amazing and I get to see her every day. Who would have thought it?
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